


Not Reading Books & Reading Messages

by KrysKrossZee



Series: Quinzee's Panevi11e 2020 [11]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Arranged Marriage, Crushes, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Light Angst, M/M, Marriage Contracts, POV Female Character, POV Pansy Parkinson, POV Third Person, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:22:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27661973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrysKrossZee/pseuds/KrysKrossZee
Summary: Pansy finally finds out who Theo has been seeing and he confides in her a little more.
Relationships: Neville Longbottom/Pansy Parkinson, Pansy Parkinson & Theodore Nott, Theodore Nott/Mystery Person, Theodore Nott/Pansy Parkinson
Series: Quinzee's Panevi11e 2020 [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1988443
Comments: 6
Kudos: 6
Collections: Paneville





	Not Reading Books & Reading Messages

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts used-
> 
> Panevi11e 2020: Message

"There's an owl at your window." Pansy commented, glancing up from the book that she had been reading while she had been sitting in Theo's bedroom. She had chosen a random book from his shelves and had been reading the same page over and over again as she'd tried to make sense of the words written there. They felt like they were in a completely different language, even though she knew that they were in English. She was glad of the owl and the distraction that it served when it knocked on the window pane.

"Huh?" Theo hummed as he too looked up and over at the window. He had pretty much ignored her since she had arrived, though Pansy wasn't going to complain about that at all. Other than asking him about the finer details of the contract or telling him about the decisions that her mother had made concerning the wedding, she didn't really know what to say to him.

Theo's eyes widened when he saw the owl and Pansy thought that they were actually going to pop out of his head as he quickly made his way over to let it in. She wondered briefly if she was meant to recognise it or if he was just shocked to be receiving a letter in the first place.

"Who's it from?" She asked as she set the book down, deciding that whatever he was about to read was probably going to be far more interesting than whatever was written in her book.

"Um." Theo was holding the letter in his fingers as though it were the most precious thing in the world and she realised in that moment that it probably was to him. It had to be from whoever owned the jumper. She chewed on her lip slightly as she considered leaving him alone and letting him read it in peace. He spoke again before she had even uncrossed her legs from underneath herself. "Promise you won't laugh?"

Pansy blinked rapidly as she wondered why he would even ask her that question to begin with, especially when you took into account who she had ended up falling for. "I wouldn't ever laugh at you, Theo." She promised. She wanted him to understand that they were a team, but it seemed that it would take more than them just meeting in his bedroom a couple of times a week for him to fully understand that.

"Thanks." He said as he moved to sit on the bed next to her again, passing her the letter as he leaned against her shoulder slightly.

Pansy read the words and though she kept her promise not to laugh, a smile did spread across her lips. "Draco would shit his pants if he knew this."

"Don't." Theo groaned as he covered his face with his hands. "At least it's not Potter, right? He might forgive that..?"

Pansy gently pulled his hands away, hoping to get him to look at her so that he would know that she wasn't judging him in the slightest. They had both fallen for Gryffindors and while that wasn't the plan for either of them, they weren't silly school children any more and they had to learn to leave all of those stupid prejudices behind.

"You don't need his approval, Theo." She said softly, her fingers lingering on his cheeks for a brief moment. "You don't need anything from Draco so if you have a crush on a Weasley -"

"Merlin! Don't fucking say it out loud!" Theo was now holding his hands over her mouth, his eyes once again wide as he stared at her.

Pansy stared back for a moment before she slowly moved his hands away from her. "Sorry." She said quietly. She didn't want him to feel ashamed about who he had feelings for, but she was also aware of how different it was for the pair of them. She was a straight girl in a straight relationship while he was only pretending to be straight.

Theo let out a small sigh. "I don't know what to do, Pansy." He said quietly as he flopped backwards on his bed and stared up at his ceiling while Pansy just simply watched him. "I don't know if he even likes me like I like him or if this is all just sex to him. I don't know if he'd at all be open to the whole… open marriage thing we've got going on or if… ugh. Why is life all of a sudden so complicated?"

"I think that's adulthood? Or at least the adulthood of a Pureblood." Pansy let out a sigh of her own before she lay down beside him and took his hand into hers, giving it a small squeeze. "But you won't know anything if you don't talk to him, you realise that right? And it sounds like he wants to talk, not just fuck." She held the letter up above them though neither of them could read the words on it as the light shone through the parchment. "Talk to him. If he doesn't want the things that you do, if he doesn't want to be part of this marriage, then at least you'll know and you'll be able to find someone that does."

She knew that it wasn't going to be as easy as him just switching off his feelings like that, but she knew that living with the not-knowing was not at all fun. After this last week, she was a firm believer that it was better to know than not have a clue.

"You're right. I know you're right. I'm just… scared I guess? What if he doesn't like me and I've just been wasting my time with him for months?" He pulled in a deep breath before he shook his head slightly. "It doesn't feel like I've been wasting my time, at least, but I… I need to know where his head is at."

"And to do that, you need to talk to him." Pansy felt like she was repeating herself but she needed to make her point clear and if the only way to do that was to turn herself into a broken record then so be it.

"Yes, mum."

"Please don't call me that." Pansy groaned.

"You're still stressing about that, huh?" She felt Theo shift on the bed and without looking at him she knew that he had now turned to face her.

"Not stressing but it is a niggling worry." She admitted. Her most recent relapse had been on her mind quite a bit last night and she had been so confused as to how she was meant to be a parent to a child when she couldn't even look after herself. "I'd rather not be reminded about it for the time being, you know?" She swallowed thickly. She didn't understand how Theo could talk about the subject so calmly to begin with. Surely he wasn't ready to be a father yet? Her breath caught in her throat as she realised that he might be and she might not have time at all to prepare herself.

"Pansy." Theo gave her hand a squeeze which snapped her back to earth with a jolt that was sorely needed. She couldn't risk spiralling, not when she wasn't at home or at Neville's house. As much as she wanted to get to know Theo she wasn't ready for him to see her have a breakdown, nor was she ready to explain that she was in fact broken.

"Yeah?" She managed once she had her breathing back under control and thought that she could make her voice sound at least halfway normal.

"I'm not going to force you to do anything." Theo's voice was barely above a whisper but there was something about him that made her want to trust him - and for the first time Pansy found that she was grateful that her mother had gotten her engaged to him.

"Thank you." She whispered. She knew that one day she would be in a position where she felt that she could have a child, she wanted children one day after all, but she had just needed to know that the decision was hers to make as and when she was ready to make it. The smile that flitted onto her face was only a little bit forced. "Now back to your letter. Are you going to reply to him?" She asked, an eyebrow lifted slightly as she rolled over to face him.

"I guess I should, right? I should see him…" Theo took the letter from her, though instead of reading it he folded it up and slid it under the pillow. "Wish me luck?"

Despite her knowing that their Hogwarts days were well and truly behind them, Pansy couldn't help but feel a little weird about wishing him luck on trying to bring Percy Weasley into their relationship, but she did so anyway. "Good luck, not that you'll need it."

Theo rolled his eyes but he pressed a kiss to her cheek before he rolled off of the bed and made his way over to his desk where he sat down and wrote out a reply while Pansy watched him out of the corner of her eye. She was starting to get used to the idea that her life was never going to be close to what even resembled normal but the fact that her fiancé was planning on meeting up with a Weasley was a whole other level that she hadn't at all expected.


End file.
